Friday, March 24, 2006

"Marcia! Marcia! Marcia!"

I'm sure everyone is familiar with the Brady Bunch episode where Jan (the middle daughter) is jealous of Marcia because Marcia is so beautiful, head cheerleader, has trophies and is better at basically everything. Following her mother's advice, Jan decides to try and do something Marcia didn't do. Jan went out for the Pom-Pom girls and didn't make it which made her feel more like a loser. Eventually Jan won an essay writing contest about America. Or did she?? Upon examing her score of 98 she realized she actually only scored 93. She wasn't the real winner, Nora Coombs was. Jan, being a Brady, tells the truth and is praised for her honesty, yadda, yadda, yadda. Ya know- I could always relate to Jan, being the 2nd daughter and younger sister to the beautiful, talented Marcia, I mean, swampbaby. My sister, being the 1st born and a "parent pleaser", was more serious about sports (and grades) at a younger age. She was more competitive so she was a good player sooner in life. I was the spaz that just wanted to have fun. I remember swampbaby working with my dad on softball pitching. I was so jealous. I wanted to pitch and be on the awesome team. However, my arm was too wimpy (Swampbaby and I are built differently) and more importantly I didn't want to practice that much. I think I was 11 and I had other things to do- like play. Don't get me wrong, my dad always worked with me too. He was always my coach and very supportive. He even put me on an all-boys basketball team to help me improve and gain self-confidence. I just didn't get serious about it until later. And eventually I was a good 1st baseman on a winning team and I always led my basketball teams in assists and steals. I was just a "Late Athletic Bloomer." Actually, I was a late bloomer in all aspects... I had the UGLIEST ugly-duckling years between 6th and 8th grade. I was growing out a short haircut when I started jr. high and I had braces, no boobs and I just wanted so badly to be "cool." Case in point- when I started 8th grade a girl (also named Tori) said to me, "You're cute this year Tori." I wanted to say "Thanks. You still look like a horse." (She SO did look like a horse!!) But, it was 8th grade- when I actually thought people's opinions were important. The same year someone said to me, "Are you and swampbaby real sisters or are y'all like step-sisters?" When I informed her that we were indeed "real" sisters, she said, "Oh. Because she is so pretty...Y'all don't look anything alike." Umm, thanks? My sister was beautiful and popular, but comments like these plagued my entire jr. high and high school life. I don't hold it against her. She can't help it that she's beautiful!! She was also very nice to me and never acted embarrassed to have such a dorky little sister. She'd let me sit with her on the bus and kids in her grade that knew I was her sister always said "hi" to me- which made me look cool to the dorks I hung out with. She even tried to set me up with this cute guy named Craig. Eventually he admitted to me that he - yep, you guessed it- liked swampbaby. Or at church dances I'd be standing there wanting to dance with the cute guys from the Lewisville 1st ward. "Oh- here he comes. He gonna ask me to dance." I start practicing how to say "Yes, I'd love to dance." I mean, I didn't want to "pull a Baby" and say something stupid like, "I carried a watermelon." (Dirty Dancing) Oh- nevermind- he was walking to my sister. Yep- Darren asked her to dance. So did Chris. And so did that guy that looked like Zack from Saved By The Bell. Was I standing there with my finger and my thumb in the shape of an L on my forehead??? LOSER! (Obviously I'm warped because I remember names, places, the outfits I had on...;) But even as an adult- I was teaching at church and a woman (Sister Diers) came up to me afterwards and said, "You know, all these years I knew your sister was beautiful, but YOU are beautiful too!" Umm, thanks for noticing?? So, I contribute a majority of the stupid things I did (and there were a lot of them) to the fact that I was trying to get out from my sister's shadow. I should have just followed in her footsteps or atleast right along beside her. I wouldn't have gotten in trouble. I would have had good grades. I wouldn't have married a jerk that cheated on me- therefore warping me more. I should have listened to her when she complimented me and been more confident in myself. She - even today- can always make me feel better about myself. Better than anyone else can. I mean, Sei tells me nice things, but he's sleeping with me. HE would look like a loser if he didn't say I was hot. ;) Instead I fought against being anything like her (because I wanted to BE her) and it screwed me up for about 10 years. IDIOT!
Now days it's funny because I don't want my kids or any kids to be warped. I mean, lately Big T hasn't been playing with a kid that has been his best friend for 2 years. The reason? Basically he had made other friends and didn't want to play with this kid anymore. I was so upset. Not because I love the other kid, (He drives me crazy.) but because this poor boy was going home crying because Tristan had dissed him yet again. I had to relate a story to Big T in hopes he would see how he was hurting this boy. I told him about a poor, ugly girl in the 6th grade. She was best friends with a boy named Joey. He would hang out with her EVERY day after school. No one at school knew they were friends because he had his "cool crowd" he hung with. Well, that year he had a birthday party. He didn't invite his true best friend because that would be embarrassing. He invited only his cool friends. When the poor ugly duckling realized what Joey had done, she rode her bike to his house during the party. She knocked on the door. When he answered he looked so embarrassed that this chick was at his house. She said, "I just wanted to tell you happy birthday," handed him a card and rode off on her bike. Sad, huh? I started crying when I toldBig T the story because I knew how hurt I was, I mean this girl was, and I didn't want Big T's friend to feel that way. I guess it worked because he's played with him a few times since then. What's funny is Joey took this ugly girl to homecoming the next year and was her 1st kiss the year after that. Guess she wasn't so ugly then, huh? Oh that's right, I was "cute" that year.
Anyway- all this stuff is funny to me now. It's an ongoing joke in my family. I have so many quirks and I have a "warped" story for each one! Do I sound like Ashlee Simpson? Probably. But ya know, I feel for the girl. I really do...

PS. I tried to find a picture of me from 6th to 8th grade and I couldn't. I did find the non-flattering pictures I saved of swampbaby. I told her I would blackmail her with them one day... Just kiddin' Sister. I wouldn't do that!!

6 comments:

~j. said...

Great post! I love the relationship that you and Tara have. I was the ugly one - and I'm older. My sister was always "so cute" and "so funny" - and had blond, straight hair, which I always wanted. Of course, if you ask her, I'm sure she'd say she had the shoes to fill in other areas. Anyway, this was a great read, and, again, I really admire the relationship that you and Tara have.

Gina said...

Yes, this was a great read... and the magical part of blogger is that you can edit posts later... I will standby for the 6th grade picture to be uploaded... too funny!

Keep writing! You make me laugh so hard!

You are a great mother to your children... teaching your son the value of a real friend is priceless.

Tori :) said...

Thanks for reading y'all. I enjoy posting. It's therapuetic. (Is that spelt right?)

Tara said...

Sister, you know you're beautiful. And now you can take satisfaction that I'm the fat one...

I officially release you from your warped past.

Tara said...

P.S. Who's Craig?

You have always been the fun one. I'm just a big nerd.

Tori :) said...

Thanx Sister but obviously from my post I AM THE NERD!!
Craig Antiago or whatever- who lived out by Kristen D. He was a year older than me but a year younger than you.