Thursday, April 13, 2006

Movies that warped me... (Warning: SPOILER on several movies and I'm all over the place!)

I've always been the sensitive type when it comes to watching movies. I don't even have to see the whole movie, just certain parts, and I'll cry. For example, on Mulan when Mulan decides to go to war in her father's place: the music changes, she cuts her hair, she puts on his armor, etc... I cry on that part everytime. The kids will call me in "Mom, it's your part!!!!" and then stare at me to see I turn on the waterworks. Never fails. Another movie, A Walk to Remember. I've actually only seen the entire movie once, but I've seen the last 30 minutes about 15 times on tv. Last nite I watched literally the last 7 minutes and I was crying. It's very touching and sad. Sei was laughing at me. He likes to act tough and say, "Cute babe." But when he kissed me goodnite he said, "Don't get leukemia." See- the movie affected him too. :)
Those kinds of movies only affect me for a few minutes, but there have been some that have stayed on my mind for days, months and years. Life Is Beautiful was so upsetting to me for several reasons: 1) The little boy looked like Tristan. 2) I was 10 days postpartum when I saw it and an emotional wreck. 3) The trust that little boy had in his father was awesome!! 4) **SPOILER** I was not expecting the dad to die. For days I was upset. I'm still sad when I think about it, but I think it touched me in a good way.
Normally I try to stay away from movies that I know are going to warp me or put images in my head that I don't want there. That is why we are counseled not to see rated R movies and now I don't. But before I rebelled against ANYTHING ANYONE told me I couldn't do- hence the stupid tattoo on my ankle. I used to have a crush on Brad Pitt. I loved him in Legends of the Fall. I loved the movie. It's actually pretty good- if you cut out all the bad. ;) But anyway- I loved Brad Pitt, so I was excited to see his movie Sleepers. Ok- I am still mad at myself for not leaving the theater. Brad Pitt was in the movie- kinda. He was Brad Renfro's character grown up getting revenge on juvenile detention officers that sexually abused him and his 3 friends while they were in the jail after accidently hurting a hotdog stand owner or something like that. I do remember it was an accident. Anyway- 2 of the friends shot and killed Kevin Bacon's character- one of the bad guards- when they were adults. Brad Pitt was an assistant DA who helped get his childhood friends off. That part was actually kinda cool- how they got back at all the evil guards who had hurt them. That wasn't the part that warped me. It was the abuse you heard and saw while the kids were in the detention center. Oh WHY DIDN'T I LEAVE !????????????? Stupid. And I still remember when I was leaving the theater I heard a couple of teenage girls saying "That was the best movie I've ever seen!" Are you kidding me??
The reason I am off on this trip is because last week sometime the movie Unfaithful was on tv. It stars Richard Gere and Diane Lane and Duey from Malcolm in the Middle. Anyway- I knew it had been rated R mainly for sexual content- like major sex scenes. But on tv that was all edited and my curiousity got the better of me. I watched the edited version and I'm warped. Yes- the sex scenes were all cut out, but the affair wasn't. I didn't realize it would affect me the way it has. I'm so pissed at Diane Lane's character. She was married to a hottie (Richard Gere) and he loved her. It's obvious. Her son loves her. She lives in the suburbs and is a busy, happy (I thought) wife and mom. I don't know WHY she had an affair. My best guess is boredom. She met this pansy French guy (the French don't impress me) and he helped her when she fell down outside his apartment. He sold books and gave her one to take home. It had his phone number in it. This is what makes me mad- SHE totally went after the guy. He didn't call her or even really do anything that would have been a turn on, in my opinion. If I had been in her position I, first of all, wouldn't have gone in some strange guys apartment to get a bandaid and secondly, would have felt totally uncomfortable by him. I like my space and he was all up in hers. So, anyway- she started calling him and stopping by his apartment and eventually they started knockin' boots. She even gave him a snowglobe (she collects them) that her husband had given her. Eventually her husband knows something is up and hires a PI. When he finds out the truth he goes to Frenchy's apartment to confront him. Frency is such a freakin' jerk. (Oh- I forgot- he also has another girlfriend and an estranged wife you find out about later.) He is so smug with Richard Gere and almost rubbing it in his face. Richard is respectful and trying to stay calm as his heart is totally breaking. He looks so pained. :( Then he notices the snowglobe.
Richard Gere: "Why would she do that?"
Frenchy (with fruity accent): "I don't know. Perhaps she wanted to buy me a gift."
Richard: "She didn't buy it. I gave it to her."
He sits down on the bed because he feels dizzy. Then he suddenly stands back up and hits Frenchy on the head with the snowglobe. Frenchy ends up dying. Richard freaks out realizing what he's done. He cleans up the mess, wraps Frenchy in a rug and dumps him in a landfill. He didn't notice his wife's number by Frenchy's phone. Police start questioning Diane Lane and Richard when they find the number, but they don't have any evidence, although they do find his body- blah blah blah- not important. Diane one day notices the snowglobe that she gave to Frenchy back on the shelf at her home and then she knows. Her husband knows about the affair and he killed Frenchy. They talk, they cry, they panic, they try to work things out over a period of time... It's very sad.
Eventually he says: "I'll turn myself in." She says, "They don't know anything." He says, "We would know." A very profound line, I think. The movie ends with them sitting outside the police department in their car, hugging and crying. The reason I think this movie has stayed with me this past week or so it because that woman's selfishness ruined the lives of everyone she cared for. Frenchy is dead. Her husband is going to jail for murder. Her son will no longer have a father in the home. She will no longer have a husband. Why did she do it? Her husband didn't abuse her or her son. He loved her. He provided well for his family. He was a good father. Frenchy didn't have anything to offer her except for kinky sex, basically. That makes me sick. And what's really sad, is it happens all the time. Watch Maury and you'll see that. People throw away everything for an affair. It's "the grass is always greener" crap. People who are bored and want to have an affair need to really look at their lives and ask themselves "Is it worth it??" If you're bored, take up a new hobby. Exercise. Join a book club. Write a blog. Or better yet- what can YOU do to make your marriage better? It's easy to blame the other person for everything. When my ex-husband cheated on me I knew I wasn't the perfect wife, but I tried. He just decided to stop trying. I thank him now for being an idiot, but at the time I could not (& still don't) understand his selfishness. That's what an affair is- pure selfishness. And this movie portrayed that perfectly. I didn't mean to get on a soap box and preach. But it's been bothering me for days now and I had to get it off my chest. The movie also made me so thankful for my husband. I have trust issues, but I trust him. I may never get to see him, but I know he's not with another woman. I know he loves me. He loves our kids and he's the most unselfish man I know. I may be bored with my life occasionally, but I would never look for a Frenchy. I just look forward to the time I do get to spend with my husband. It makes it that much more special.


Abbie said...

Hi. 2 things -

1. The movie that always makes me cry, even if I only see the last 10 minutes of it: Brokedown Palace.

2. I HATE how most chick flick lovey movies involve an affair. It always makes me sick to watch (same as you). A movie that I hated, but if I ever admitted it in a group of teenaged girls or BYU students I'd be beaten - The Notebook. The 2 main characters always fought when they were together, and she cheated on her fiance with him. Made me sick.

Tori :) said...

Re: The Notebook- I hated them together when they were younger. You're right- they fought all the time (although they were dumb teenagers anyway) and then she did cheat on her fiance who did absolutely nothing to deserve it. The part I loved is how Noah took care of her while they were old. THAT was the part that made me cry. That is how I picture my husband and me when we're old. Me- The senile old lady. Him- The caring old man who would do anything for me. :)

Gina said...

Okay, whew...
First, Sleepers... that was my first peer pressure situation (my sr year of high school). I was the driver of 3 non-members (a double date)... we went to the movies as a back up plan and they all wanted to see Sleepers. I did stand up for myself, but couldn't talk them out of it. I have been scarred every since... the same as you... the childhood scenes with Kevin Bacon (how could anyone play a part like that???)

Thanks for the review of Unfaithful. I turned off the tv when that came on last week. I knew it would make me sick, though I was curious to see the Non-R version too! Now I know what happens and I didn't miss out.

No Cool Story said...

Frenchy (with fruity accent)

I don't watch movies with any kind of sex abuse (on screen) if I can help it, I just can't deal with that.
I hate movies with cheating >:(
Thanks for the review!