Saturday, May 20, 2006

It's probably just PMS, but...


I'm totally grumpy today. I admit it. I've been very snappy at everyone. In my defense- I am FRUSTRATED!!!! I'm frustrated for several reasons:
  1. I am stuck at this weight. No matter what I do the scale isn't budging and neither is the tape measurer. Why is that?? I exercise every freakin' day except for Sunday. Freak- What would my hips measure if I DID work out on Sunday? I fear the wrath of God. ;) I try eating right, but what is "right?" Every magazine/book I read says something different! "Don't eat before exercising." "Do eat before exercising, but don't eat carbs." "Eat carbs- just not bad ones." "It's not carbs, it's the calories." "It's not calories, it's the carbs." Would someone make up their mind??!! I've cut calories. For example, at McDonald's I don't get the 1/4 pounder w/ cheese meal anymore. I get an All-American meal which is a Happy Meal minus the toy. I try to snack on low cal things like pretzels or grapes. But I've been doing this for months and it's gettin' old. This past week I broke down and I've been a pig. I ate 4 Oreos yesterday and it FELT GOOD- for like 2 minutes. Then I started picturing my butt expanding... When I told my mom I was having a hard time losing weight she said, "You know why, right? Because you're 30 now and your metabolism is slowing down." Thanks Mom.
  2. I'm 30 and apparently my metabolism is slowing down.
  3. I'm tired of picking up stuff all thru the house and it ending up right back on the floor. And none of the stuff is mine. I know this is normal as a mom and wife. You clean up after people, but it gets old sometimes. I mean, I'll turn off the 5 different lites left on and not 2 minutes later 3 of them are back on with no one in sight. Ugh.
  4. Isabel never likes my food. If it were up to her, I'd cook spaghetti or roast and rice everyday. I really don't care that she doesn't like my food. But it's that nagging voice in my head that says, "Make her eat it or she's gonna be the pickiest eater when she's older..." My little sister is 12 and she doesn't eat veggies, fruit, nada. I don't want Isabel to end up like that, but I also don't want her to starve. It also bugs because I know when she's in Texas at my ex-husband's house she'll try different foods there because she doesn't want to be rude. I mean, she ate freakin' cow tongue last summer. What the ...!?! But she won't eat my mashed potatoes? What about my feelings? I guess it should make me feel good that she loves me enough to reject my food. She doesn't feel like a guest in our home to where it would be rude to say "I don't want to eat that..." I don't know- I'm stretchin' here...
  5. My kids are leaving in 6 days to go to Texas for 6 weeks. I hate the summers. I always get grumpy right before the end of the school year. I miss seeing what crazy outfits the kids pick out for themselves. I miss hearing Tristan sing in the shower. I miss Alec's laugh. I miss Isabel flippin' upside down 24-7. And you know what? I'll miss Isabel rejecting my meals and the lites left on. My laundry will be "down" to like 1 or 2 loads a day. It's funny how you end up missing all the things that drive you crazy.

6 comments:

Tara said...

I think you hit the nail on the head with your last comment. That is what is really going on. I would be going crazy and be more than "grumpy" if I had to relegate my mom status for 6 weeks to someone I had major issues with to begin with. It totally bothers me, and I'm not even directly involved with it!

You are allowed to feel those mixture of emotions and I would think if you didn't it would be weird. Six weeks is a long time, but it will end and they will be back with you leaving toys and piling up laundry before you know it.

Plus, you have seeing me to look forward to!!! ;-)

Robin said...

Awesome, you are so normal. I think everyone can relate. I'm fat, but I'm also lazy so I can't complain. I hate picking up and doing laundry to have no sign that it was ever done, I am getting a little better though. I can't imagine my kids being gone for 6 weeks!Oh your aching heart. And as for PMS, if it makes you feel better I am having the longest heaviest period of my life. What the ?!@#*!- (as you say)

Nettie said...

I'm so sorry you are feeling so down! I'm thinking Tara may be right. That is a depressingly long time to be away from your babies. Okay, that won't cheer you up, I know. Maybe you should charge a dime for every light you have to turn off and start a "cheer up" shopping fund? Are you planning on doing something special just for you during those 6 weeks?

Stephanie said...

It sucks to feel the way you are. I understand the weight thing. I should get lyposuction or make peace with it. It won't leave. If you EVER figure out how to make kids keep things picked up, you will be the richest woman on Earth. I am sorry your kids have to go. It would be fun for the first week and then I think I would go crazy. I hope you can find something to do during that time...if not, just vent here!!!

Tori :) said...

Thanks for the positive thoughts everyone!! I guess Taj and Liv will keep me busy, but it's just so weird without the older kiddos here. And when they get back I won't have any real time with them because Sei's daughters will be here. Then the fun begins- 7 kids ages 11, 9, 7 ,7 ,7 ,2.5 and 5 months.....

Gina said...

I am sorry you are feeling down. All of it is warranted. (HUGS TO YOU)

You deserve a big pat on the back for stopping at 4 oreos. You are so disciplined (sp) and I admire your endurance on the diet and exercise. My body has gone to pot, but like Robin, I am lazy and can't complain.