Friday, November 10, 2006

You take the good. You take the bad. You take 'em both and there you have...

(sing it with me now) THE FACTS OF LIFE! THE FACTS OF LIFE!!

Ok, Tristan is 11 and Alec will be 10 on Tuesday. Tristan knows about puberty and maybe a little about $ex, but nothing major. Sei has been saying he will talk to the boys... forever. So, I finally said, "Come on boys. We gotta talk."
I had bought Tristan this book a while ago. May I highly recommend it to all parents- especially those of the LDS faith. It's a great book. But anyway- being a female I don't know all the male type puberty things. I mean, I know of them, but haven't experienced them personally. So, I grabbed the book and started reading parts about puberty to the boys. Ok, it was SO fun! I know, I'm a dork. But that conversation with my boys was awesome! We were giggling and making jokes and they were totally opening up about stuff that would have normally been embarrassing to talk about. And their faces when I read the part about how their um, private parts?, will grow eventually- CLASSIC. I was rolling!! I finally said, "Well, would you want to be as tall & big as Granddad, but have the same size parts you have right now?" We all lost it because Taj ran in with no clothes on at that exact moment. It was awesome. Anyway- we talked about that. I told them about how they need to be respectful to girls- especially since they have 4 sisters (3 that will be hitting puberty all about the same time. Fun.), etc... We talked about $ex and how it is for married couples to have with only each other. And how it is what makes babies. To which Tristan replied, "Well, when M___ had $ex with J____ when y'all were married, why didn't she have a baby?" (M is his biological father and J is now his step-mom who was also M's mistress.) "Uhh... well.... because they are huge sinners who are going to hell!" Just kidding. I didn't say that. I just said, "There are things you can do to make sure you don't have a baby. Also, some people can't have babies...." Ok- how did we get on this subject?? Anyway... the point of this post is that I am so glad I got to have that talk with them. It was cool. We were silly, but they learned. Heck, I learned! Oh, I forgot. They asked me if Sei and I were having more kids to which I replied "No. Our family is complete." I swear they looked relieved. I mean, that means their parents won't be having... $ex. Ewwwwww!!!!!!!


Suzanne said...

LOL! This post was so funny!

Good for you, for taking the initiative and doing the discussion yourself. When the boys are young like that, they're not embarrassed and now they know they have a mom they can trust. They know you will tell them the truth about questions they have.

Isn't it crazy how fast our kids grow up? My oldest is only six, but my SIL just had a baby so we had our first "talk". It was pretty simple, but I answered about 5 questions he had. It was so sweet and fun. I'm glad my son doesn't have to hear about it from other sources.

What a great mom you are! :)

Gina said...

Thanks for posting about this! It's so important that parents talk to their kids about specific details like you did. And it just goes to show how great your family dynamic is. You and Sei doing that together was vital. It's so cool that ya'll got silly so it didn't feel weird to them to talk to you about this stuff. Applause all around from me! Helps a mom look forward to making that conversation happen, not avoiding it.

No Cool Story said...

Good for you taking the initiative; $ex talk doesn’t have to be awkward and weird. Sounds like you were informative, sincere and made it interesting. I’ll check that book out.

My parents never had “the talk” with me at all, which I think is not only sad but kind of irresponsible. My kids are 14 and 12, we started having talks with them years ago, little by little and at their age level

I LOLed at “because they are huge sinners who are going to hell”. HA! :D

~j. said...

I've wondered about that book; my friend (la yen)'s in-laws are friends with Brother Brad, and so that book has been a big joke for us. But I feel like I need to have some more of "the talk" with Li'l ~j. before too long. We've discussed parts here & there, mainly at her own level (my answering her questions, etc.). It always surprises me how well they take the information -- LOTS better than I expect them to!

~j. said...

ps - you were missed last night.

Next time. ;)

AzĂșcar said...

Brad Wilcox was my 6th grade teacher. He caused a mini-sensation when he decided to use our pregnant student teacher as a living object lesson on the facts of life. It tore a rift in the class!

The kids' parents had to sign a waiver saying it was ok to discuss the "Life Processes." Some parents refused to sign. So everyday, part of our class would leave for another room while those of us who remained were treated to the miracles of life.

Anne/kq said...

My dad put some books on the bookshelf when I was 9 and gave me a heads-up they were there, saying, "If you have any questions, feel free to ask."

I had NO questions WHATSOEVER after those books! None! I was the "go-to" gal for information to all of my friends for years to come!

But in retrospect, it was a good method for me, voracious reader as I was.