Thursday, May 24, 2007

My husband needs a life

Ever since I met Seiuli he has joked around- including our 1st phone call. He spoke in this total Erkel voice. What a nerd. Anyway... his favorite thing to do is to try to scare me, the kids, co-workers- no one is safe. Once when he was working at the jail he hid in a blind spot at 3 in the morning (in the violent offenders unit of all places!!) and when the guard came around to do checks Sei jumped out. The guard totally freaked out and just kept trying to shine his flashlite in Sei's eyes. Um, ok??? Another time he took confiscated fireworks and lined a doorway by the work release unit. The guard was asleep. Sei lit them and the guard army crawled across the floor to call for help. He thought he was being ambushed. These poor, innocent people. Unfortunately the ones Sei loves the most are not safe from his immature antics.
I made the mistake of telling Sei that the plant in the corner of our living room freaked me out because it always looked like someone was standing there. Not 5 minutes later I come walking thru the living room, in the dark, and Sei is standing behind the plant. He's just mean. He actually hid in the shower, I don't know for how long, but he hid there. I came in the bathroom and was washing my face in the sink when I noticed this man standing in my shower!! HOLY CRAP! I freaked out even though in my head I knew it was Sei. Other times I have come around the corner of the stairs only to see him crawling up them all funky like the girl on The Grudge. He's so lucky I caught myself before kicking him in the face!After we saw The Ring it was over for me. I freaked out when she was crawling out of the tv. FREAKED. OUT. Well, leave it to Sei to take advantage of my fears. I would come in the bedroom and he'd be totally still, standing in the corner, with his black jacket hanging over his face like Samara's hair. This is not normal behavior, right?
But on a funny note- Sei's brother is a total chicken (Not you Stephen) so we had him babysit the kids one nite. We rented The Ring and had it set in our dvd on the part where she crawls out of the tv. We called him from our cell phone and asked him to go get the movie times we had written down in our bedroom. We were in the backyard and could see when he got into our room. We had the remote with us and clicked the movie on from the window right as he walked in the room. His reaction was CLASSIC. LOL! We should have taped it. We'd win America's Funniest Home Videos. Next time.
There's been a few times he's gone too far. Like when he told Alec to go hide in the shower upstairs and then sent Isabel up to empty the trashcans. I heard Isabel scream bloody murder and start bawling. I had no idea what happened but I looked at Sei and knew instantly. Poor Izzy was scared to death and Sei was in trouble. For a long time. We watched a show about a girl that was haunted by good and bad ghosts. I fell asleep in the middle of it and ended up waking myself and Sei up because I was trying to scream in my sleep at this ghost in my dream to leave Isabel alone. Sei obviously knew I was bothered by that show so what does he do? Wears all black, including a black hood like the ghost in the show, and stands in the shadows of our room. Nice.
Isabel had this huge doll that was like 2 1/2 feet tall. We called it "Talking Tina" like on The Twilight Zone episode.I would be taking a shower and lean back to rinse my hair and there would be this doll coming over the top of the curtain. Or, I'd come out of the bathroom and it'd be standing in the hallway with a nail file taped to it's hand. This went on for weeks. I tried to get him back. I dressed it in Isabel's jacket and stood it in his parking space. I watched from my sister's apartment window. Sei pulled in late at nite and I'm pretty sure he jumped. I think. He doesn't scare as easily. But don't worry. I have my ways. Like when I told him I was pregnant for April Fools Day this year. He was sweatin' it big time. His response, "But we just bought a nine seater!" and then "I think I need to puke."
Vengeance is MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bwwwahahahaa!!!

PS- Y'all have to tell me if y'all like the slideshow with my pics or if the family pic was better. Also, is the music video annoying or ok??

18 comments:

Mel said...

Loved it!

Gretch said...

Tori, I would totally freak if my husband was that way. I hate being scared, even if it is on accident. If someone did that on purpose to me.... I don't know. I would get some PEPPER Spray and get him everytime he did it. Is that tooo mean????? LOL

Amanda said...

I think I would probably wet my pants on a regular basis if I was you! I get so scared so easily. I wouldn't be able to sleep in the dark for weeks after some of the stuff he pulled. Sounds like you guys have a lot of fun together though! Still love the april fool's joke!

Katie said...

You win for sure! I'm a big wuss, and I refuse to watch scary movies. Josh would like to be like Sei and scare the crap out of me, and I have no way to get him back because he totally wants another baby. So I just don't watch scary movies. :)

Jenny said...

Oh, I would hate that!! My husband doesn't usually do stuff like that. But I have a plan if he ever does. I know that he is terrified of snakes. So, I will find one. I will put it in his tractor. I will viedotape his reaction. He will never do it again. :)

Life at your house certainly doesn't sound dull!!

utmommy said...

I'm laughing so hard right now because I totally can relate. My hubby thinks it is so funny to scare me. I scare very easily and he takes full advantage of this.

One time he layed down next to the bathtub while I was taking a shower. I didn't know he was in there and when I stepped out he grabbed my leg. It scared the crap out of me. He was busted!

Lauren said...

OH.........MY..........GOSH!!!!!!!! I didn't think anyone knew about talking tina! That freaked me out so bad when I was little, that I had to have all of my "American Girl Dolls" REMOVED from my room for MONTHS! WOw, that picture scared me. And, my biggest fear in life is to be in my bathroom and a scary man is hiding in the shower. Wow...great post. I love the slideshow! I wanna do the same thing, but I won't :)

Dana said...

I couldn't handle being scared like that on a regular basis but I LOVED the way you scared him!

swampbaby said...

My favorite is when he dressed up like a Halloween decoration on your porch and waited for the boys to come home from school.

I hate being scared and get really mad if JC ever does it to me. I guess I'm not fun like that...

b. said...

I would probably have to be hospitalized for anxiety quite often....
I LOVE the family pics, this is my first visit to your blog....I love it!

David said...

LOL Those are awesome jokes! My wife is the trickster in our family. We have teamed up to do some pretty cool jokes. I work at a prison...those were some good ideas!

elasticwaistbandlady said...

I'm the naughty one in the Infidel house. I wait behind the front door when Papi gets home late so that I can spring out unexpectedly at him as soon as he opens the door. I crawled under the bed and laid there for 20 minutes waiting for him to get close enough so that I could grab his ankles. He screamed like a little girl! In my defense, I was totally up front about all my quirks, flaws, and oddities before we got married, and Papi still chose to go through with it.

The freakiest thing was my mom telling me that she watched an Alfred Hitchcock episode where a piano player got his hands chopped off and they came back to haunt him during the night. My mom was a competitive piano player as a teen, so it scared the crap out of her. Her two brothers filled some gloves with water and froze them. Then they snuck into her room while she was asleep and put them next to her head. 40 years later, and she's still not completely over it.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

And one more thing, if you're ever in Japan don't jump out and yell "BOO!" A friend of ours served his mission in Japan and said that they loved American culture and celebrated Halloween. Him and his companion waited behind a sofa at church for the kids to walk past on their way to the Halloween party. He jumped out and yelled "BOO!," and the kids just stood there all surprised and slack-jawed.

BOO loosely translated, is 'FART," in Japanese! Can you imagine missionaries running around and screaming FART at unsuspecting Primary kids?

No Cool Story said...

I loved your April Fool's joke, you got him good that time.

You did so good with Sei he has a great sense of humor and so do you.
Your Bro in-law, that would have been great to get on video, hahahaha!.

I loved your family pic, I also like your slideshow.

No Cool Story said...

PS: I have been keeping pics of all the scray movies I have watched lately, post to come :)

PS2: Hi Samara!

elasticwaistbandlady said...

I hereby dedicate this fine little masterpiece to your brother-in-law, tori.

Love Connection Featuring Samara

Heffalump said...

I love scaring people, although not to the extremes your husband goes to.
When I was a teen though, if I heard my older sister get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, I would creep out there quietly and lay down on the floor in the hall (pitch dark) and grab her feet as she came out of the bathroom.
I am also paranoid though and have been known to look behind the shower curtain before I use to bathroom.

Tori :) said...

EWBL- Thanks for the link. I totally emailed it to my BIL!! LOL!