Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Marcia! Marcia!! Marcia!!! Rerun

**Original post date: March 24, 2006

I'm sure everyone is familiar with the Brady Bunch episode where Jan (the middle daughter) is jealous of Marcia because Marcia is so beautiful, head cheerleader, has trophies and is better at basically everything. Following her mother's advice, Jan decides to try and do something Marcia didn't do. Jan went out for the Pom-Pom girls and didn't make it which made her feel more like a loser. Eventually Jan won an essay writing contest about America. Or did she?? Upon examing her score of 98 she realized she actually only scored 93. She wasn't the real winner, Nora Coombs was. Jan, being a Brady, tells the truth and is praised for her honesty, yadda, yadda, yadda. Ya know- I could always relate to Jan, being the 2nd daughter and younger sister to the beautiful, talented Marcia, I mean, swampbaby. My sister, being the 1st born and a "parent pleaser", was more serious about sports (and grades) at a younger age. She was more competitive so she was a good player sooner in life. I was the spaz that just wanted to have fun. I remember swampbaby working with my dad on softball pitching. I was so jealous. I wanted to pitch and be on the awesome team. However, my arm was too wimpy (Swampbaby and I are built differently) and more importantly I didn't want to practice that much. I think I was 11 and I had other things to do- like play. Don't get me wrong, my dad always worked with me too. He was always my coach and very supportive. He even put me on an all-boys basketball team to help me improve and gain self-confidence. I just didn't get serious about it until later. And eventually I was a good 1st baseman on a winning team and I always led my basketball teams in assists and steals. I was just a "Late Athletic Bloomer." Actually, I was a late bloomer in all aspects... I had the UGLIEST ugly-duckling years between 6th and 8th grade. I was growing out a short haircut when I started jr. high and I had braces, no boobs and I just wanted so badly to be "cool." Case in point- when I started 8th grade a girl (also named Tori) said to me, "You're cute this year Tori." I wanted to say "Thanks. You still look like a horse." (She SO did look like a horse!!) But, it was 8th grade- when I actually thought people's opinions were important. The same year someone said to me, "Are you and swampbaby real sisters or are y'all like step-sisters?" When I informed her that we were indeed "real" sisters, she said, "Oh. Because she is so pretty...Y'all don't look anything alike." Umm, thanks? My sister was beautiful and popular, but comments like these plagued my entire jr. high and high school life. I don't hold it against her. She can't help it that she's beautiful!! She was also very nice to me and never acted embarrassed to have such a dorky little sister. She'd let me sit with her on the bus and kids in her grade that knew I was her sister always said "hi" to me- which made me look cool to the dorks I hung out with. She even tried to set me up with this cute guy named Craig. Eventually he admitted to me that he - yep, you guessed it- liked swampbaby. Or at church dances I'd be standing there wanting to dance with the cute guys from the Lewisville 1st ward. "Oh- here he comes. He gonna ask me to dance." I start practicing how to say "Yes, I'd love to dance." I mean, I didn't want to "pull a Baby" and say something stupid like, "I carried a watermelon." (Dirty Dancing) Oh- nevermind- he was walking to my sister. Yep- Darren asked her to dance. So did Chris. And so did that guy that looked like Zack from Saved By The Bell. Was I standing there with my finger and my thumb in the shape of an L on my forehead??? LOSER! (Obviously I'm warped because I remember names, places, the outfits I had on...;) But even as an adult- I was teaching at church and a woman (Sister Diers) came up to me afterwards and said, "You know, all these years I knew your sister was beautiful, but YOU are beautiful too!" Umm, thanks for noticing?? So, I contribute a majority of the stupid things I did (and there were a lot of them) to the fact that I was trying to get out from my sister's shadow. I should have just followed in her footsteps or atleast right along beside her. I wouldn't have gotten in trouble. I would have had good grades. I wouldn't have married a jerk that cheated on me- therefore warping me more. I should have listened to her when she complimented me and been more confident in myself. She - even today- can always make me feel better about myself. Better than anyone else can. I mean, Sei tells me nice things, but he's sleeping with me. HE would look like a loser if he didn't say I was hot. ;) Instead I fought against being anything like her (because I wanted to BE her) and it screwed me up for about 10 years. IDIOT!
Now days it's funny because I don't want my kids or any kids to be warped. I mean, lately Big T hasn't been playing with a kid that has been his best friend for 2 years. The reason? Basically he had made other friends and didn't want to play with this kid anymore. I was so upset. Not because I love the other kid, (He drives me crazy.) but because this poor boy was going home crying because Tristan had dissed him yet again. I had to relate a story to Big T in hopes he would see how he was hurting this boy. I told him about a poor, ugly girl in the 6th grade. She was best friends with a boy named Joey. He would hang out with her EVERY day after school. No one at school knew they were friends because he had his "cool crowd" he hung with. Well, that year he had a birthday party. He didn't invite his true best friend because that would be embarrassing. He invited only his cool friends. When the poor ugly duckling realized what Joey had done, she rode her bike to his house during the party. She knocked on the door. When he answered he looked so embarrassed that this chick was at his house. She said, "I just wanted to tell you happy birthday," handed him a card and rode off on her bike. Sad, huh? I started crying when I toldBig T the story because I knew how hurt I was, I mean this girl was, and I didn't want Big T's friend to feel that way. I guess it worked because he's played with him a few times since then. What's funny is Joey took this ugly girl to homecoming the next year and was her 1st kiss the year after that. Guess she wasn't so ugly then, huh? Oh that's right, I was "cute" that year.
Anyway- all this stuff is funny to me now. It's an ongoing joke in my family. I have so many quirks and I have a "warped" story for each one! Do I sound like Ashlee Simpson? Probably. But ya know, I feel for the girl. I really do...


swampbaby said...

Well, now all my friends want to meet YOU because they read your witty, entertaining blog. You're a 10 on the fun scale and I'm about a 4. So justice is served...

Mel said...

You are too cool for me!

My DH served his mish in Lewisville.

Tori :) said...

Sister- I'm much cooler online than n real life.

Mel- How weird is that?? Did he ever serve in Denton?

Amanda said...

It is hard growing up in the shadow of someone else. Being a teenager is so hard trying to find your place, leave your mark, and feel accepted for who you are. I made a lot of bad choices/mistakes when I was growing up all in the name of trying to fit in. Looking back it is really silly, but as a teenager all you can think about is wanting to feel a part of something. I hope I can raise my kids with more self confidence than I had.

No Cool Story said...

...standing there with my finger and my thumb in the shape of an L on my forehead.

Amanda wrote everything I was going to use. The worst part is getting a "warped" view of things and then acting as if that viwe was reality.
I'm glad you can laugh at all this now, and that you and Swampbaby are close.

The story about the cool friend and the ugly ducking is so sad :(
I got all teary eyed and stuff.

utmommy said...

I love your stories!!

Well, you are definitly not an ugly duckling any more!

wendy said...

As girl #3 I always wanted to hang out with my big sister and her friends. But I HATED it when my little sister tagged along with me. (sorry Mary)

As a grown up I wonder what was my problem? and why it was so hard to just be nice and play with everyone.

I see this happening with my #2 daughter and I don't know how to help her.


PS you are beautiful!

Chrissy said...

Sunshine dayyyyyyy!
I always wanted a sister. Instead I got a brother who would pin me down and dangle loogies over my face! Nice, huh???

Lauren said...

My grandparents lived in Denton...I used to visit them every spring break with my brother.

I am so glad I didn't have sisters growing up because I am the jealous type and I think I would have been warped by trying not to be in their shadows.

That bday story made me sad!

elasticwaistbandlady said...

I hit a real awkward stage that I've never grown out of. I still walk like a penguin just like when I was younger. I can't skip. Remember when all the cool girls could do the Extreme Patty Cake sport thingie with their hands? "Miss Susie had a baby, his name was Tiny Tim....." I wasn't coordinated enough to get the hand slapping timing right and so nobody wanted to play with me. Thanks goodness, I'm the oldest. I could show my little brothers by my example that you won't actually die from the embarrassment of being a dork.

Suzanne said...

Tori, I think you're cool in real life too! :)

I kind of had the same situation growing up. My older sister seemed to be perfect at everything so I was kind of labeled as the "rebellious difficult" child because I wanted to have fun and be with my friends. It was hard feeling compared, when in reality I was just trying to find out who I was and did my best. I graduated high school with a 3.6.! Yep, I was such a rebel.