Sunday, June 03, 2007

Tad Awards: Pet Peeve Edition


This edition of The Tad Awards I will list off things you can do that will increase your chances of winning the coveted Tad Award- besides saving parking spaces and being a pushy door to door salesman.


~ Talk in baby talk. My sister-in-law always does baby talk to Livie and it DRIVES ME CRAZY!!!!!!!!! Sei does it just to bug me.

~ Use bad grammar. I know I'm not the perfect journalist, but most of my mistakes are typos. I think.

~ Live in the United States and don't make an attempt to speak English. I knew a hispanic woman who was in the hospital and all her adult children were mad because the nurse couldn't figure out what she was wanting. She wanted some juice, but didn't know how to say it in English. Um, ok?! She was born in the USA and 80 years later she still couldn't say "Can I have some juice??" I could go to Mexico and say "I want juice" in Spanish and I've only spent 8 hours in Cozumel. "Quiero jugo." What's her excuse??

~ Talk about divorce like people that go thru it must have done something totally wrong and acting like as long as you pray your marriage will be perfect. There was a dork who once made the comment "My good friends are getting divorced and I just want to ask them 'Were you going to the temple?' 'Were you reading your scriptures??" I wish I had been there (Sei told me about it). I would have said, "Why, yes I was- That's why my ex had time for a girlfriend." People that have never been there just need to shut up. They don't know crap.

~ Run people off the road and don't stop. I was taking Izzy to gymnastics, cruisin' down the highway at 70 mph and this car totally came into my lane. I'm sure I jerked the wheel a little too hard because it freaked me out but I totally went off the side of the road, totally out of control. I was waiting to hit a tree or flip. Seriously. It was bad. And no one stopped!! And I wasn't just a little off the road, I went down a freakin' hill!

~ Cuss really loudly in public. Attention STUPID TEENAGERS: YOU ARE NOT COOL!! Do you realize how dumb you sound?? And I have a 3 year old with me. "Adults" that cuss- you're even worse. Please just Shut the $%#@ up! (hee hee)

~ Give advice on raising children- yet you don't have any of your own. A girl I knew when Tristan and Alec were maybe 4 and 2 was always telling me how when she had children they weren't going to dress like mine (tshirts and shorts) but her's would wear polos and khakis. And her children would know better than to throw toys. And, *gasp, "You let them listen to Genie in a Bottle??" Yeah- I saw her last summer at church totally struggling to keep her very hyper son quiet and entertained. It was awesome! You can't decide on how your unborn children will be. If we could then Taj wouldn't have an ugly cry or hit himself when he's mad.

~ Be a citizen of another country and tell actual US citizens who they should vote for in the next election. I was watching the Grammys a few years ago and Chris Martin of Coldplay actually dedicated his Grammy to "John Kerry- who should be your next president." Who asked you? Go back home to Apple. I still can't listen to Coldplay without getting bugged.

~ Say you'll move to France if Bush is elected and then never leave. So, I guess technically Alec Baldwin, Sean Penn, Barbra Streisand... & whoever else, are already winners of The Tad Award. I'm still waiting for them to go to Pansyland.

These are just a few ideas you can do if you would like to win the Tad Award. And if you don't want to be my friend.

25 comments:

Lauren said...

Wow, that was an amazing post! I agree with you on all of those!! Especially the divorce one. People can't talk when they don't know the situation. Some people are retarded and think they know everything.


teehee...first comment

Liam's Mom - Gina said...

Dang it! I thought I'd be the first to comment! ?&*(%$... oh shoot, was your kid there?

I totally agree with you.

I was probably one of those women that knew so much about kids before I had kids(sorry if you were EVER a victim). I have certainly learned my lesson... not even books by doctors are good enough advice, why would any jo-blow be any better?

Cussing loud in public is a SUCH a pet-peeve of mine too! Do teenagers and adults really think they sound intelligent doing that?

The whole not speaking English thing drives me crazy! Go to any other country and they aren't as accomidating as the U.S. in that respect.

Finally I have to make a comment about the divorce thing... I so agree with you! Nobody knows your situation as good as you do, so people need to mind their own business!

Great post, Tori! You are awesome!

Lisa M. said...

LOVED this one-

Hilarious-

Toni said...

We are so alike on this!

'Be a citizen of another country and tell actual US citizens who they should vote for in the next election' this is the one that REALLY gets under my skin!

Nobody said...

Thanks for stopping by! I love this post.
"That's why my ex had time for a girlfriend" made me laugh out loud. I so hope that someday you get to use that.

To add to the giving advice when you don't have children, it annoys me when people say, "My child will never do that" about tantrums or certain behaviors. PUHHHLEASE. Like we actually have that much control.

Threatening to move to France and then not following through also made me laugh. Never occurred to me to hold 'em to it!

No Cool Story said...

I LOVED this post :D It was not only hilarious but so true, all those things bug me too.
A Tad award for everybody.
Chris Martin is such a jerk. I love Coldplay, but it's hard to listen to the music when he decides to be such an idiot.
My mom had a friend -Mexican too- who had lived here 20 years and still couldn't/wouldn't even say "please" "thank you". There's just no excuse for that.

Pansyland!! Oh man, I love that.

Jenny said...

I LOVE this post! That is all stuff that drives me right up the wall! Especially now. I have no tolerance whatsoever. LOL

Leni said...

Another favorite of mine is the local college students who think it's hysterical to play Marco Polo in Super Walmart.

I wanted to say, "Look, I left my kids at home, because I didn't want to be a mommy while I shopped. But you obviously need a mommy. So close your mouth and go home."

Instead, I silenced them with the mommy stare. It's amazingly effective. I scare people.

Kimberly said...

Totally agree with you - especially the divorce one. There was a gal who I grew up who got divorced and moved back home. She got totally razzed about it! Got called a pretty spoiled princess who couldn't hack it.

Umm...yeah people? Her husband decided he was gay and she found him in bed with another man. You really think she should've stuck it out?

Bleh!

Heffalump said...

When we were on a vacation once we were riding a shuttle bus and this guy was cussing a LOT. I finally turned around and asked him to please stop swearing in front of my kids. I probably should have been worried the guy would beat me up, but instead, he stopped swearing.

utmommy said...

Great post!!

I hate when people, especially adults cuss in public. What's cool about that?

I've had people without children give me advice and it bugs. What do they know?

Ooh and the spanish thing, drives me crazy. I think if they are going to live in our country, they NEED to speak our language. I don't know, maybe I'm crazy.

Gretch said...

LoVed your post today!

Abbie said...

Along with swearing in public, another thing I can't stand is when someone is smoking in a crowd of people. It seems so selfish to me.

As far as the spanish thing goes, living in AZ would drive you CRAZY. Some of the signs in our stores (Wal-Mart, grocery, etc.) are written in Spanish FIRST, and the translated into English in smaller print underneath. No wonder they don't learn English. They don't need to!

Robin said...

As always, fantastic post. I can always count on you for some quality entertainment!

Amber said...

If I did a post like that, I don't think I could limit my items to under 20. :-)

I hear you about speaking English. I am torked whenever I go to the ATM and am asked what language I want. Do we not have one national language? When I was in Canada, everything is bilingual and it is to be expected. But here? Definitely one of my peeves!

jenica said...

haha. loving the pet peeves. when my parents divorced last year it was amazing how many people gave ME advice. but until you've been there, you just don't know, so they should all just shut their cute little traps. ;-D

s--max said...

Okay, so tell us what you really think! :)

Dana said...

Whew! I'm not a winner!

Isn't it soo cool that Texas is bigger than France!!!!!!

Terry said...

Pansyland!! LOL! I couldn't agree more. I hate how Unamerican a few of our celebrities can be. They actual achieve the American dream; they make it big, rich and famous, IN AMERICA! Then they do antipatriotic things like oh, you know, become best friends with communist President Chavez!!! Oooooo Danny Glover (shaking fist)!!!!

elasticwaistbandlady said...

I'm with terry above me. Danny Glover got an 18 million dollar greenlight from Hugo Chavez to make his latest movie. What about all the celebrities who want a little slice of Fidel beret action? Martin Sheen, Steven Spielberg, Leonardo DiCRAPio? I wish I could go back to the old days where I didn't know and didn't care what my favorite singers and actors believed in.

R.I.P discarded Dixie Chicks CD's.

Suzanne said...

I loved everything on your list!

I totally agree about the advice thing. I've been given advice on how to potty train a boy before by people that only have girls. It's not the same thing. At all.

I'm glad you weren't injured when your car went off the road. How scary!

P.S. Thanks so much for the postcard! I'll send you an e-mail so we can set up a time to get together! :)

I hate divorce-hating idiots said...

I'm hunting divorce advice guy down. He's obviously never listened to Dr. Laura. Adultery is quite a good excuse for a divorce. And who cares? Like this guy was this couple's bishop or something. Go home and make out with your wife, boy, and don't worry about what other couples are doing.

Terry said...

I totally get what you are saying about divorce and the LDS culture. My sister wrote a little about this topic last week on her blog. You might enjoy it. Here's the link to her blog:
http://mollyhenry.blogspot.com/
The post is dated Sunday, May 27th.

Amanda said...

This was great! All of it is soooo true! Some people just don't have a clue and are completely ignorant, acting like they know everything. Mind your own &*%$# business and shut up I say!

David said...

Bueno, solo queria decir que me encanto todo lo que dijiste. Es tan cierto. Pero, que se yo? Aun mi papa me dice que tiene miedo "porque soy tan conservativo"!

Hee Hee (I thought you might like getting that in the first language of California followed by a translation ;)

(translation:)Well, I just wanted to say that I loved all you said. It is very true. But, what do I know? Even my own dad is "scared by how conservative" I am!