Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Conversations with myself

I'm not new to nite shifts. Sei used to work 7 nite shifts every month when he was a deputy in Utah. So, for 5 1/2 yrs I spent at least 1 week alone at nite. Alone = no husband, lots of sleeping kids. In fact, when the Olympics were in SLC he worked 28 straight nite shifts. That sucked. He was also in Texas for 2 weeks before we moved down, so I've done the nite shift thing. But it never fails- I have strange conversations with myself in my head. I know I may sound paranoid and freaked out, but really only 1 side of me is. The other side is practical and just wants to go to sleep.

Me: What if someone breaks in?
Me: Why would someone break in?
Me: Because Sei's not here.
Me: Sei's worked nites before. Why would someone break in tonite? No one knows he's not here.
Me: There's only 1 car in the driveway.
Me: The other car could be in the garage.
Me: That's true. I didn't think of that.
Me: Yes I did.

Me: What if someone breaks in?
Me: The alarm is on. ADT would call the cops.
Me: Does the alarm work if someone breaks thru a window.
Me: ...?
Me: Well???
Me: I'm not sure. I'll have to check. But I'm pretty sure I'd hear a window break and then if the alarm didn't go off I could set it off with my keychain. And I can dial 9-1-1 on my cell phone with it still hidden under my pillow. I got mad sightless dialing skillz.
Me: Good thinking.

Me: What was that??
Me: Livie dropped a book out of her crib right above us me.
Me: Why does she sleep with so many books?
Me: I don't know.

Me: I don't wanna turn off the tv.
Me: If I don't turn it off I won't go to sleep.
Me: It's too quiet with the tv off.
Me: I'll turn on the fan. It makes noise.
Me: Good thinking. Oh, but wait- will I be able to hear the window if someone breaks in?
Me: Ugh. I am so tired. I should have taken that sleeping pill. Please shoot me.

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Amanda said...

ROFL!!!! I feel your pain because I hate it when my husband is gone at night. I'm really sorry! Maybe you could give the sleeping pill to your other self so she would leave you alone.

Yvonne said...

I LOVE AMANDA'S IDEA!!! I'm glad I'm home so no one will be making fun of me sitting here laughing all alone. (no, not at you, at Amanda's comment ; )

I remember my older kids wanting to spend the night at a friends when Allan would be out of town--this was during our first few years of marriage. I would tell them I was worried someone would break in. They would ask--"How are they going to know Dad's not home tonight?" I always thought--Oh, they'll know!!!
(Of course, as if they'd ever protect me ; )

I still sleep with a big flashlight under my bed!!!

Carrot Jello said...

Me: Tori, quit being such a fraidy cat.

No Cool Story said...

Me: That's true. I didn't think of that.
Me: Yes I did.

Duh! of course you did.

aurora said...

I think we were separated at birth!

aurora said...

Me, you and you, of course. We were triplets. Actually, it must have been me, me, you and you. We were quadruplets! ☺

Stacey said...

Your conversation with yourself entertains me greatly. I'm glad I'm not the only one who does that when I'm all alone at night.

NOBODY said...

Oh my gosh, THAT was a good laugh. Thanks Tori. And Tori.

The last lines of each of those conversations made me laugh out loud big time. I'm not sure which Me said, it---but she's funny.
"Yes I did"
"Good thinking"
Yeah, that's awesome.

Klin said...

I couldn't sleep last night so I stayed up and read The Host. Perhaps you should go buy it so you can do something fun and productive when you can't sleep.

Not that you aren't being productive. ;)

Anonymous said...

Do like my grandma use to do, she slept with a machete under her matress, no one dared mess with her or you should read the Host, you have something in common with the main character ;)

PJ said...

Have you read 'The Host'? Sounds like you just might be "hosting" a "soul" from another world ;) All that talking to yourself.

This was a great post, your a goof.

Stacey said...

Dang, has everybody but me read The Host? I was supposed to get it for Mother's Day.

Still waiting....

Suzanne said...

"I got mad sightless dialing skillz."
LOL! Tori, can we be friends forever? :)

aubrey said...

lol. but i completely understand. and my husband is rarely gone. i still have thoughts and conversations like that in my head. this post is another reason why i love your blog!

S said...

"Don't do that!" I agree put the gun down!!! I actually am like that all day. LOL My extra voice is more a taunter then yours! NUTELLA with white bread sounds good doesn't it!

Nancy Face said...

My hub doesn't work nights, but when he's out of town...I CAN TOTALLY RELATE! :0

Stepherz said...

Hilarious! I'd hate to be alone at night. Those are the exact things myself and I would talk to one another about.

Chel said...

oh geez. One Tori was enough... you mean there is TWO of you?

Whitney said...

Oh BOY do I know how you feel!!! Before I was on overnights with my hubby, I would stay up as late as my body could handle it, and then I'd lay in bed afraid, but I never got robbed :)

Jenni said...

Man oh Man, Tori - you CRACK me up! I have conversations like that ALL of the time...I HATE being alone.

Chell said...

Hi Tori - I found your blog through a few others who I read and loved it! Check mine out too..and I would love to pop by more often :-)