Thursday, September 25, 2008

I have awarded myself

Requirements to win the Bad Wife Award:

** Send your husband, who is surfing in Hawaii, text messages that say things like, "There's no way you miss me as much as I miss you."

** Tell your husband, who is surfing in Hawaii, to have someone take a picture of him surfing so you can blow it up and hang it up in your surf-themed bathroom. And then add, "So everytime I go in there to pee I can get pissed off at you."

** Thank your husband, who is surfing in Hawaii, over and over again for giving you a whole 36 hours notice before taking off to Hawaii for a week and rub in the facts that when you went to Oregon for 4 days you 1) Gave him 4 months notice. 2) Bought tickets to 6 Flags for him and the older kids (and his brother) 3) Arranged for your mom to watch the 2 youngest so they could all go to 6 Flags 4) Arranged sitters in case he was scheduled to work 5) His brother came in town to visit.

** Basically ruin your husband's trip to Hawaii by acting like a whiney bio-tch everytime he calls.

Acceptance speech:

Thank you. Thank you. I'd like to thank my husband for going to Hawaii and giving me the opportunity to act like this and win this award. I'd also like to thank my kids, especially Liv, for using up my patience last week, before the Hawaii trip, making me even more psycho than usual this week. And most of all, I'd like to thank Mother Nature for the huge case of PMS I have had. Thank you.

**Yes, that's 2 posts I've written today. I'm on a roll.

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Mindi said...

SO glad that i wouldn't be the only one who would have done that.....really.

men live in a different world than we women. sometimes it just sucks.

nice that you've gone thru the stages--anger, anger, anger, denial, acceptance. way to go, tori!

Suzanne said...

Yep. I think we've all had those run ins with Mother Nature. Well...except for Omar maybe! ;)

Don't be too hard on yourself, Tori! If everyone was perfect, then what would be the point of being here, really? I hope you feel better soon! ***hugs***

Brittany said...

this is great. love it.

The Child Family said...

Did Russell give you my award?? Ummm???

omar said...

Suzanne is absolutely right. :)

Torisaurus Rex, I was going to congratulate you on winning that award, but when I look at how specific the requirements are, I don't know that anyone else really had a chance!

I was originally going to give input from a guy's perspective, but I don't want it to come across like I'm speaking for Sei. I wouldn't dare try to speak for Sei. Not only because I've never met him, but on some levels, I'm a little bit afraid of him. I think that stems from the fact that he could use his training and strength to quickly fold me into submission and then compose AND perform a song about it.

Millie said...

Sei is a Renaissance man, indeed.

He must know how you feel, though. I mean, this is pretty easy to figure out. Him in Hawaii with a friend, surfing and playing and having a great time. You, home alone with 9,000 kids. The dunce-iest of husbands would understand that.

If he brings home enough macadamia nuts, will that make you happy? ;)

No Cool Story said...

Congrats! ITA wiht Omar, the requirements for this award are very strict, you barely won it.

Torisaurus Rex.

No Cool Story said...

Sei loves you, award and all.
Besides it's a one in a lifetime deal :)

You are a special woman yo!

Tori :) said...

Torisaurus Rex made me lol! I should change my screen name...

S said...

9,000 kids? Who invites a father of 9,000 kids to Hawaii away from his family. And how could one resist going. I mean you could resisted a 10k with me, but hawaii? I think you would be hang 10ing all over the place. Cheer up! The week is almost over. Thank heavens for mother nature:))))))))))!!

S said...

Congrat on the award! and I love Torisaurus Rex! I think I will name my baby that! :)

Lauren said...

I LOVE TORISAURUS REX! That is so bomb.

Tori, I would be doing the EXACT same things if Ted was in Hawaii without me. Missing your husband doesn't make you a bad wifey.

Lots of hugs for Tori!

Physcokity said...

OOOH That sounds like a typical day for me! Patience tried and tested. Come home thoroughly annoyed, and have a pile of daunting tasks to cover/finish before bed. WAHOO for PMS!

~DeMelo Family~ said...

that is so me. Even when my husband is away for business i whine and complain constantly..poor husbands! Oh well huh. :) I usually rent chic flicks to watch when the baby goes to bed and yummy treats i normally wont eat when Franco is around. Or i call a girlfriend to go to lunch during the day. but i still hate every second he is gone. :( :( I feel your pain.

Klin said...

Good grief. I go to work and you fall apart. You stayed home with the kids didn't ya? You will be there for Sei when he gets home won't ya? You answer the phone when he calls, right? You do indeed text him. When he gets home he will be rewarded for pissing you off, so tell me dear Tori, how does that make you a bad wife?

Don't make me name names of the examples:P

That girl said...

Hmmm... if it makes you feel any better, hopefully this will now stop me from behaving this way (as I've done every year) when my husband is in Niagara Falls for a week, starting tomorrow.

He goes there with work, once a year, but please! It's Niagar a Falls...I can't feel bad for him for that?

I usually pout around all week, and after reading this, I feel kinda bad too. I'll try and mope around and pout for half a week only this time.

aubrey said...

i don't think those things make you a bad are an awesome wife and i'm sure sei is missing you as much as you are missing him!

Nancy Face said...

My favorite part is about the surfing picture for the bathroom, HAHA! :D