Friday, November 21, 2008

Bear-er or Bear-ee??

So, the other day I went to check on Wormy and I seriously thought she was dead. She usually gets excited (excited for a snake anyway) when I open the lid and she didn't move. She didn't blink. (Kidding- she never blinks.) She just stayed in the same spot she had been in the nite before. I moved the wood in her cage. She didn't move. I called Sei, distraught, and told him I thought Wormy was dead but was afraid to touch her because if she WAS dead I didn't want to be the one to find her. (I know. I'm weird.) Anyway... since I was about to start crying I thought I should make sure I had a reason to cry. I poked her and she moved!! YAY!! Wormy was alive!! Holy relief.... And this morning she shed. Just thought I'd throw that in there.
This made me think of this time when Taj was probably 2 years old. We were getting ready to go to church. I start calling for him. He doesn't answer. I asked the kids if they'd seen Taj and none of them had. We all started looking for him. I checked the doors and they were deadbolted so there was no way for him to go outside and lock the door behind him. But I checked outside anyway. We looked in closets and cabinets and underbeds. We were all screaming at the top of our lungs for him. This went on for about 10-15 minutes. I got the worse feeling in my stomach. I had this fear of finding him. I was afraid of HOW I would find him. I convinced myself he was hanging from Alec's bunkbed. I know I'm morbid, but when you are searching for so long and they aren't answering you start to panic. I absolutely DID NOT want to find him. I really started feeling that way. I wanted to pretend he was watching cartoons in the living room or hiding from me. Finally I pulled myself together enough to realize if I wasn't the one to find him then one of the other children in the house would. (Sei was working.) I took a deep breath and walked into the boys room. And that's when I heard it... SNORING. Taj was sleeping and snoring loudly ontop of the boy's bunkbed!!
It's just weird because of course the feeling when Taj was missing was way worse than when I thought our pet snake was dead, I just found it interesting that in both situations I did not want to be the one to make the discovery. I'd rather have someone else tell me. What about y'all? When it comes to bad news would you rather be the one to find the news and break it to others or be the one who finds out later?

**EDITED TO ADD: I mean ANY bad news. It doesn't have to be finding a body. Maybe you found a scratch on your car or you found out the house you wanted was sold or ... I re-read this post and it sounds really morbid. Sorry!!!

If you are in need of flash memory check out!!

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glittersmama said...

I think I would like to be told. I don't want the picture of whatever I found in my mind forever.

Stacey said...

I think I would like to be told as well.

Unless it was just me and the kids,in that case I would rather have the image in my head so they didn't have it.

Klin said...

I haven't liked the being told, but I've never had to find, so I don't really know. My family prefers for me to do the telling.

How's that for a political answer? I'm practicing to be a politician. How'd I do?

S said...

I can handle it. I am not sure about my child or a horrid car wreck. But a simple find of dead one I think I could handle it. Do not test me please.

But if I had to choose I would rather be told.

Nik said...

I have to be the finder, even of bad things. It gives me closure and comforts me that someone else didn't get hurt or emotionally damaged by finding it instead.
Sort of like when something goes bump in the night and I'm terrified to know what it is, but I would never send my husband, because he might get hurt, so I go myself. I HATE it when that happens, but I have no other choice!

Suzanne said...

I would rather be told. I freak out when bad things happen so I would hope that the finder could be someone that could remain calm. And that's not me.

I know that icky stomach feeling you're talking about. I've had it before when I've thought I've lost my own children or someone else's. I'm glad both Taj was o.k. then and Wormy is o.k. now!

Yvonne said...

I would much rather have someone else tell me--I do not like giving other people bad news.

I'm glad Wormy is o.k. (and obviously very glad Taj was o.k.)

Lauren said...

I would much rather be told. Because I am a baby. I know that the person informing me had time to prepare what they were going to say, and therefore would be able to comfort me.

Yay! Wormy isn't dead!!

NOBODY said...

Dude, way to brighten our Fridays!

I would rather be told my whole family has all sink into a sinkhole mudpit of despair. I definitely don't ever want to find that myself.

My bedroom looks like a sinkhole mudpit of despair. And ironically, I find my entire family in there every morning.

Nevermind then...

NOBODY said...

Okay, so I have only ever been told. I've never had to tell or find. The idea of having to tell someone bad/sad news---pretty much makes me physically ill. I don't ever want to be the voice in someone's head when they think of some terrible thing they've faced. On the other hand, hearing bad news kind of blows too. So basically I just want to surround myself with rainbows and cupcakes and unicorns, and pretend you never even wrote this post.

Except that part about Wormy being dead. I have a hard time feeling emotional about snakes.

By the way, saw a SB SP episode today, is Wormy named after that Wormy?

Tori :) said...

Yes, Nobo, Wormy is indeed named after Sandy's caterpillar "Wormy." :)

Physcokity said...

Yeah I agree with GM, especially when it comes to visual aids. It's also better to get it from someone else anyway because then you're not all caught up in the emotional run off from everyone else you are breaking the news to.

Stacey said...

He is really named after Sandy's worm? Awesome! My kids love the song on that episode. They jam to it every time and I have it on my iPod. It's probably lame to have a 32 second song on your iPod,but I don't care! It rocks!

Nancy Face said...

Yay for not dead wormy! :)

I've never thought about your question before...but I'm kind of a control freak, and I'm very curious, so I just WANT TO KNOW as soon as possible. I would have no hesitation poking a pet to check for dead-ness.

(I've experienced the lost child situation several times, and it's just horrible!)

Lippy said...

Hey there,

For some reason, my life has put me in the position of being the bearer of bad news more times than I am comfortable thinking about. But for some other reason, I seem to be extraordinarily adept at softening the blows for people so I guess I'd better stick to what I'm good at, no?