Monday, December 01, 2008

Starts out with Thanksgiving and then goes downhill from there

Thanksgiving was good. I hope y'alls was good as well. My mom cooked everything except for the pie my SIL made and the deviled eggs and corn I made. I also brought rolls from Golden Corral. Yummmmm. We had turkey and ham and candied yams. My mom makes yams the way candied yams are suppose to be. They aren't mashed sweet potatos with some brown sugar on top. They are chopped yams cooked in sugar and OH.SO.GOOD. After dinner while my mom and Sei cleaned up the kitchen, because they have OCD and can't just sit down and have fun for a few minutes, the boys and I wrestled. It started out with me trying to save Alec from Tristan and escalated to me throwing folding chairs and jumping off tables. Just kidding. It was fun and made me laugh so hard I really thought I was going to pee my pants. I didn't thankfully, but I really had to try not to.
I have MAD bladder control skillz. Seriously. When I was big pregnant with Taj, Sei and I travelled alone together for about 2 weeks. He had to literally stop every hour to pee, but he'd try to blame it on me. He'd be like, "How's your pregnant bladder?" "I'm ok..." "Are you sure? Because I can stop for you..." I also haven't wet the bed in forever. You know how if you dream you're peeing sometimes you actually pee?? Well not me. I've dreamt I was peeing a bunch of times (what?) and everytime in my dream I either am confused because I still feel like I need to pee (because I didn't really pee) or I say, "Crap. I better wake up before I pee." Yeah, skillz. Jealous? I do remember peeing my pants in the garage in the 6th grade. I rode my bike home and had to pee SO BAD. I couldn't get the door unlocked fast enough and I just totally wet my pants. Later my mom was like, "What the heck? Was the cat locked in the garage??" My bad.
But now my bladder is like a steel trap. I think it's from living in the wilderness for 59 days. Peeing in a latrine (aka a hole about 6 inches wide and 12 inches deep) is hard enough, but sometimes you just don't wanna hike up to the latrine, sometimes you were hiking with a group and didn't wanna mess with it and you also don't wanna take the chance of squatin' behind a tree and some lonely mountain man to happen upon you. So, I held it all the time- usually peeing like once or twice a day. Skillz.
Anyway... I will post pics from my Thanksgiving later except for the one of me by my mom. I look gross. :) And I am working on my NKOTB dance video. I promise I haven't forgotten.

post signature

20 comments:

Yvonne said...

Glad you had a great Thanksgiving--can't wait for the pictures.

You do have some pretty amazing skills!!!

swampbaby said...

I held it during my first half marathon. 2 porta-potties just didn't cut it for 500 people at the beginning of the race and then I didn't want to stop in the middle in case I never came back out...

ELASTICWAISTBANDLADY said...

I don't know why but thinking of you giving a golden shower to the garage floor made me laugh.

I did something similar just a couple years ago. I was in the garage trying to get the stupid door open when the unthinkable happened. It was the shartiest shart attack ever recorded in mankind history, Tori. The kind that makes you ashamed to be alive. If only I hadn't eaten at Golden Corral the day before.....

omar said...

I wouldn't have thought it was possible to gracefully move from the topic of Thanksgiving dinner to the topic of bladder control. And yet you pulled it off marvelously. Well done, Tor.

JustRandi said...

This is why I like your blog. Who else can turn a lovely Thanksgiving post into a reminiscence of bladder control issues in only 3 short paragraphs!?

Klin said...

You know if I tried to talk about this topic It wouldn't be near as funny or kosher.

Loved this!!

Suzanne said...

I'm glad you had fun on Thanksgiving with your kiddies and the rest of your family. And I'm glad you didn't pee on yourself in the process! The End. :)

Karina said...

You craaazy! (Nacho voice)

~j. said...

I love you and your mad bladder skillz.

Stacey said...

I am lacking in the bladder skillz.

My family and I end up talking about poop in almost every conversation we have. It's quite a gift.

Karina said...

Stacey, so do my in-laws!! Especially at the dinner table!! They're craaaazy! (Nacho voice again)

Gretch! said...

Ashton said the other day " Mom, I have Skillz" Alrighty then!!

Seriously you do. My bladder would EXPLODE! I peed my pants total of only 3 times during all of my pregs. All of them it happened right in front of the fridge on the way to the bathroom. It was always me laughing sooo hard I literally lost it! At least it was on the kitchen floor and not the carpet...

And don't even get me started on my Thanksgiving RANT!!!!!!

Physcokity said...

YAY for good family and tasty food!

peeeeeeeeeeeee s only had the "pee" dream once. ;)

I salute your skillz...as for me? I got a bladder the size of a shot glass!

Lauren said...

I once had to hold massive pee-age for 4 hours...and I was only 8. I cried and cried...but the driver of the shuttle didn't want to stop.

Lauren said...

Oh and I agree with you about yams. I hate that mashed crap.

aubrey said...

i'm impressed with your bladder control..especially after having children. very impressed. let's just say my bladder is not as...controlled. especially when jumping on a trampoline or laughing realy hard.

S said...

Dude I have never been so jealous in my life. The end.

S said...

Oh and I think that is the excuse that got me out of a four 10 hr day first degree murder trial. I had to come up with something. Nothing better than having it on the record!

Nancy Face said...

My NOT mushed yams were my favorite dish at Thanksgiving! YUM! :)

I have those pee dreams ALL. THE. TIME. And I've never leaked even once! Skillz.

S said...

BTW is this a blog ad?