Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Things that have bugged me lately EDITED***

I don't think I'm a person that really gets bugged that easily. I mean, yes, things will bug me but I get over it pretty quickly. But I need to get these 3 FOUR things off my chest:

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Dear Livie,
I know you can't read this, but you can read your name and you know that this present is yours: You can open it when you poop in the potty. This holding-it-in-and-pooping-in-your-panties-all-thru-out-the-day crap is about to drive me insane. I change you more than the babies I watch. PLEEEEAAASSSSEEEE- I am begging and bribing you- please poop in the potty or "coilet" or whatever you wanna call it. Just sit on it and poop. It's not rocket science and you are so smart. So, please? Mommy is going crazy.

I ♥ you.
Mommy :)

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Dear Pau Gasol (loser Laker),
Please shave that crap off your neck. A beard is ok, and even a beard going onto your neck that is neatly trimmed is ok (although I wouldn't want to be kissin' on it). But the pub-y lookin' hair under your chin running down your neck is gross. You're paid how much? And you still look like a homeless guy who found a Lakers jersey in the trash (where it belongs.) Please- shave it. I'd appreciate it.

-Mavs Fan

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Dear Editor(s) of this commercial,
How many people did this commercial go thru before it was put on the air? Do you not realize you used the wrong form of "your" not once, but TWICE in the commercial? Yep, makes me wanna call and get the card I am "instantly approved" for- sheesh. And no, I'm not a grammar queen, but I know that Y-O-U-apostrophe- R-E means "You are." Y-O-U-R means "Your." Get it right and please fix your commercial so future episodes of "Beverly Hills 90210" are not ruined for me.

Thanks.
Tori :)

(Start at :12)



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I forgot one:

Dear Step-mother to my children,
When you email Isabel or any of the other children, please try to use correct grammar. I don't want to have to un-teach any more things they may learn from you. One thing I notice when you email me and the kids is that you write "Would of" instead of "would have" or "would've." As in, "I would of liked to have been there" as opposed to "I would have liked to have been there." I know most people pronounce it like "would of" but seriously, you are a school teacher. You must know that it's not "would of," right? Or... maybe you don't. In fact, I am pretty sure you don't going by your track record with common sense, basic knowledge, etc... I apologize. Carry on.

-The real mom

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Ok- NOW I feel better.

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27 comments:

omar said...

I've got no feelings on where your daughter chooses to poop, but surprisingly, I totally agree with the other two things you mentioned.

Mavs suck.

Phew, that feels better.

Heffalump said...

Neck hair is gross...Go back to the woods Grizzly Adams!
Your/You're drives me crazy. Even the teachers from our school send letters home with that mistake. TEACHERS!
I'm sorry Livie won't poop in the toilet...I hope she gets to open her gift soon!

The Queen said...

Craposila, afraid two leaf an comet. Eye can't not never get nuttin spelt write,,, and my grahammer sucksolias.

Eye Ain't knot two good at none off it.

HAVE A GREAT EVENING..
YOUR QUEEN.

Klin said...

Livie- hurry and poop in the potty so your mommy doesn't make you start washing out the poopy pants. It is so yucky. Oh and I really want to see what is in that box with your name on it. It has to be cool.

LOL on your accountability to the step mom. I will stop there.

chellie said...

That is hilarious. You crack me up.

glittersmama said...

Glitter was doing good with the poop in the potty thing up until a few weeks ago. After a couple of messes, I started taking away a toy (usually the one she was playing with most recently) and put it where she couldn't reach it but she knew where it was. When she asked for the toy, I would explain to her why it was taken away and that she could earn it back my pooping on the potty. That way she knows what she's missing out on. She's had three things taken away and earned all of them back. Hopefully we're good.

Good luck!

Karina said...

For the next week my children will be praying to you. Please answer their prayers as you see fit, since your godhood is established.

p.s. I "would of" love to see her face when she read that.

BJ Conner said...

Girl you crack me up...on all levels.
Dont stress on your baby girl...she will do it when shes ready and not one single second before then...take a deep breath its almost over. One day you will wish that this was all you had to worry about with her :)
all i can do is giggle about the stepmonster...and know that kharma REALLY is a B!!ch !!!
I thought I was the only one that still watched 90210...new and old!
one more thing...
to Omar-
Mavs Rule..

Anonymous said...

You are so funny!! :)
You totally "quacked" me up.
More, more please!
Ala. Grandmother

Yvonne said...

Your so funny--SORRY I HAD TO ; )))))))

The gift for Livie is a great idea--maybe something like that would of worked with my kids ; ))))) (Sorry, had to again ; )

Hairy necks are gross.

No Cool Story said...

Did you just say "pub-y"?
BWAHAHAHAHA!!! :D

Sorry about the poopy. Particularly not going where it belongs. Hope it all gets under control soon. DO we get to see what's in the happy box?

The "school teacher"? FAIL at so many levels.

Nancy Face said...

How can she resist that glorious lime green present? I hope she changes her crappy habits SOON! (Pun intended.)

Nancy Face said...

I can't stand hairy necks either. EWWW.

Nancy Face said...

Spelling, correct word use, and grammar are a big deal to me, too!

If I see errors like that while reading blogs, it doesn't bug me at all, but I HATE IT when I make mistakes in my own writing...even though my writing is dumb and foolish. ;)

S said...

Dear Tori,

You crack me up. The visual image to back up your letter really takes the cake. I know I have a huge handicap with grammar and I feel you on this one. That is sad.
Secondly quit changing Liv, a nice raw stinky butt might be more incentive than a beautiful wrapped present. (?) RED personally has the poop in the potty song down, how to get that translated to deed appears to be a whole different problem.
If anyone out there is the REAL mom it is you you you! Have nice day. You rock S

Mikelene said...

As far as the commercial--a lot of companies are cutting back. Looks like they fired the editor.

Homeless man needs to fork out the $$ for a real haircut & shave.

I like GM's idea about the potty training/take away a toy. I'll have to remember that one. Good luck with Livie!!

Sarah said...

LOL! Give it to 'em Tori! I can't stand simple grammar errors like that either, especially from people who should know better, like teachers. Sheesh! And really, how many idiots edited that commercial before it aired!?!!

omar said...

Way to add another thing so that my "other two things" comment no longer makes sense. Why are you punishing me? Your not nice.

Tori :) said...

You're killin' me Omar!

Tori :) said...

And you know why you're being punished. "Mavs suck"= NOT COOL

Anonymous said...

I totally agree with Omar. The Mavs do suck. Why is it that mostly females have grammar problems?

aurora said...

Love the note to the step mom!! :D

Tori :) said...

Ugh, Seiuli, is that you again? Don't you have bad guys to catch or donuts to eat or something??

MommyJ said...

I think your letters are funnier than mine. Because you talk about poop, and you said pub-y... in reference to a man's facial hair. Which is really funny. Unless you're him, and then it may just be insulting. Shave already, and then it won't be a problem at all, now will it.

Potty training is not fun. Ever. For any kid. Of course you know you'll get through it... how many times have you done this before? But I don't think that makes it any more fun. Because poop is always just gross. On all levels.

That's one of my favorite episodes of friends... and the grammar mistakes make me crazy. I had a teacher leave a comment on my oldest's report card once... it was so grammatically awful, I thought I might should pull him out of school... but I can't remember what it said. I'm so gonna dig it up though. Be funny to blog about. ;)

Knot said...

Awesome, you wrote about pubes too.

I hate poor grammar, but I'm not a Nazi about it. But when I see the word "your" and people mean "you are" it bugs me.

Knot

aubrey said...

And you still look like a homeless guy who found a Lakers jersey in the trash...

hahahahahaha. i don't even know who this guy is but i am still laughing at what you wrote. just put a diaper back on liv and save yourself the trauma. that is what i did with ava and she eventually potty trained herself when she was ready. changing a diaper beats cleaning up poop and pee all over the house. ew. sick.

Physcokity said...

Sorry about the craptastic adventures and bad grammar and sentence structuring nightmares.

I concur Gasol is sick nast especially in that particular picture. ICK.