Thursday, March 12, 2009

I called the cops and I liked it

~ So... today I called 911. I came back from dropping the boys off at school, and had a car full of kids. When I went to unlock the door the key had a really hard time going into the lock. Like REALLY hard time. This was weird. And I could barely get it unlocked. Being the Investigation Discovery Channel junkie I am, rather than thinking that maybe my key got messed up I immediately think "There is a murderer in my house and he jimmied the lock." So... I go back out to the car, call Sei- who was on a call and didn't answer. Thanks Babe, call me back when you get a chance. Oh wait, nevermind, I'm already dead. (kidding babe.) Then I called the mom of one of the kids I watch and asked her if she thinks I'd be a dork to call the cops. She didn't think I would be a dork and usually she thinks I am a dork, so this was good. So I called 911, told them that it was probably fine, but I didn't want to be wrong and caught totally vulnerable with 5 kids. Then I threw in there that my husband is a cop and thought I should call. (That was a lie since I hadn't talked to him yet, but oh well.) THEN Sei called, but I couldn't answer so he's freakin' out thinkin' I'm murdered. (I very well could have been!) So... the cops came, went thru my house and said it was "all clear." I walk into my house, all the lites are on, closet doors are open and I was SO EMBARRASSED by how messy all the bedrooms were. AND one of my bras was hanging on the doorknob in the bathroom. And not a fancy Victoria Secrets bra- an ugly one. I'm so embarrassed. NONE of the beds were made, an ugly bra was on the doorknob, dirty dishes were in the sink... So embarrassed. But not dead, so that's good.
And you know what makes me even weirder than y'all already know I am? Having the cops come save me (over-exagerrating, but it's all good) was a TOTAL turn on. (No- the cops were not hot. It just made me want Sei home.) My husband does that EVERYDAY. How freakin' hot is that? And how many other chicks are thinking my husband is all hot? Ok, that kinda bugs.... Next subject!

~ I totally wanna try Motocross. Am I weird? I saw this "Made" episode on Mtv- you know, where they take people and "make" them into whatever... Prom Queen, skater, BMX riders, etc... Well, I saw one where this totally prissy chick was "made" into a motocross rider. I was so bugged because: 1) She was a prissy and I know I could do it better. 2) Because I'm 32 and I was jealous of a 15 yr old prissy pants. Yes, I'm weird. I think I'm just bored as of late. I wanna try something fun and exciting. And I'm NOT prissy so if that chick could do it I'm sure I can... once I figure out how to start the darn thing.

~ I get to shoot my gun this weekend hopefully. If I do I will take pics so I can look at all baaaad....

~ Edited to add: Def Leppard, Poison (S!!!) and Cheap Trick are comin' to Dallas on Aug. 21. I could just cry!! AND No Doubt is coming May 30!!!!! I'll have to check into getting some cardboard displays so I can make cool signs at the concerts!! Woo hoo!!!!

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Yvonne said...

"So embarrassed. But not dead, so that's good"--TOO FUNNY.

Oh, tori, thanks for the great laugh.

I always imagine those CSI investigators coming in my house and not being able to find fingerprints because there is WAY TOO MUCH DUST ; )

Have fun shooting your gun.

Shelby Lou said...

too bad the cops weren't hot. you should have sei come home and pretend to search the house so you get the full effect, just with someone who is your cop. haha

have fun shooting your gun... sounds like fun!

omar said...

Had you called me, I would have told you that you were a dork for wanting to call the cops. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you weren't murdered, and I generally appreciate erring on the side of safety. But if someone wanted to chop you up, they wouldn't have made it harder for you to get in! And if someone wanted to steal your grandma bras and stuff, would they waste time fooling with the locks? I dunno. I am neither a criminal nor a detective.

Tell C.C. DeVille I said hi.

Mikelene said...

Have you ever watched "Clean House"? I've been watching it a LOT lately. Makes me feel better about the state of my own house. :) 'Cuz the people on that show have major packrat issues.
Cops are supposed to "serve & protect", right? I think your reason for calling them was valid. Especially with 5 kids in tow.

Motocross? No thanks! But if you do try it out, wear all the safety gear. Good luck with the target practice this weekend. Aim for the crotch. I mean, the skull. :)

Heidi said...

I agree with Shelby Lou. Now you guys have something to do this weekend. :) Besides shooting the gun? Are you turning all country on me Tori or what?

S said...

I know this is not about me but I gotta tell you a funny story! Gotta!
(this is why I never post)
One lovely day when my NEW husband was working nights and was SOUND asleep, I came home from lunch. We were newly married so I was into calling his phone leaving brilliantly clever comments. (I am over that:)) Anyhow I called him from the home phone and missed dialed so I just hung up and left back to work I went.
One hour later my brother calls me!
Uh s did you come home anytime today?
and uh did you use the phone?
Well your husband wants to talk to you.

I had misdialed his 913 # and had called 911 ( very common mistake in this community)
The police call right back when this happens, but if you do not answer they do what they gotta do. SO needless to say they jerked my sleeping husband out of bed at high noon. Of course he came up fighting too to find a room full of policeman!
But the point of the story was, my house was dirty too.
Still laughin in MO.

S said...

And yes to Poison! I will still have nursing "girls" so Brett may think I am HOT!

Klin said...

You are a riot! And so is S.

Sounds like a great concert. You going? Wish I was, but Texas is a bit hard to do with all my kids.

No Cool Story said...

:D See? From now on only leave VS bras out just in case the cops have to come rescue you, you never know.

For me: SWAT guys in the super hott SWAT uniforms. Oh baby, rescue me anytime.

Can't wait for gun shooting Tori.

Our Family of Five said...

You need to quit watching TV! Haha...better to be safe then sorry!
And you got a gun?? Fun!! Walter would never let me have a gun! Give our love to Sei and the kids - love you guys!

Suzanne said...

I guessed being embarrassed is better than being dead! :D I'm glad everything turned out o.k. Good luck with your motorcross adventure!

Nancy Face said...

My hub wants a nice handgun for his birthday. If he decides to go for it, we'll take some fun shooting lessons, woo hoo! :D

Momma Magpie said...

Will Gwen Stefani tour with No Doubt? Maybe that's a stupid question but I thought she quit those guys (unfortch)

You are so flippin funny. I loved this post!

NOBODY said...

You are seriously hilarious. You know that right?

I was laughing from the babysitting kid's mom on. "Yeah, I take my kid to his dorky babysitter every morning at 8...."

Being jealous of a prissy 15 year old made me laugh too.

And I'm glad you were safe. You need to stop watching Dateline Specials, but I'm glad you are safe. :)

Physcokity said...

I am so.totally.jealous of the hair band trio that will be appearing in D-town. Can I come?