Monday, March 23, 2009

Things people tell me or I tell people

Text from Sei this morning:
"We just tazed a guy and he pooped his pants." - - True story

"He got it all over my arm." - - He was kidding with that text.

Tristan before I dropped him off this morning at school:

"Are you CRYING? Again??"

-- In my defense, I was telling him about Natasha Richardson and I got to the part where they flew her to NY to be closer to family so they could tell her "Goodbye" and I started crying.... What? I'm sensitive like that.


Me to my ex during a counseling session on Saturday:

"Probably kill you. I'm out."

-- This was in response to him totally ignoring Sei and I when we voiced our concerns about Isabel going to a camp out of state for 5 days by herself because we think she is too young to be out of state by herself - esp. for FIVE days. Sei said "If anything happens to her..." and the tard said "What? Whatcha gonna do Sei?" with his arms all out like "Bring it." So I did... and then I walked out. I'm done. Hey- you mess with the bull...

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Mrs. Organic said...
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Shelby Lou said...

i like how his arms were out like he was in 6th grade again.. he tries to look tuff sei could take him...

oh and 5 days out of state??? maybe if it was efy and in the city over.. oh and she was 16...

S said...

Sounds like a lot of dealing with turds if you ask me for the both of you!

Did SEI tell the guy to "take it like a man...your woman will think you are hawt for it!" ( even though I think the rest would cancel the deal)

Natasha will not be forgotten. I think she was just such a beautiful person. I cry about it too. Its ok!

Yvonne said...

She is a little young for 5 days out of state by herself, unless she was going to visit family.

I'm a wimp and cry all the time when I watch the news.

I'm sure I'd poop if I got tazed, too.

Lauren said...

LOL at S! Haha!

Anyway...umm, you are amazing. And Bad-A! I am so impressed.

Klin said...

I gotta admit I'd probably pee my pants if I got tazed. Guess I'd better get some depends;)

I cried about Natasha Richardson, too. Then I mad the kids watch it and reminded them WHY I am a helmet nazi!

You know my thoughts on the whole counseling thing. If ya need some help let me know. I'll grab some depends and be right down. You know, in case we get tazed for going all mad on the loser. :P

Nancy Face said...

Wouldn't it be fun if the ex got tazed? ;)

Beckie said...

5 days is a long time for her to be gone....she's just too little. Good for you for saying that to him! I've only dreamed dreams of being brave enough to say those sorts of things to J's Ex. (Long story)

I feel for Sei, did he have to have the poopy man in the back of his squad car after? That would be pretty smelly and gross for both parties involved.

Tori :) said...

Mrs. Organic- Why the delete it?? I liked your comment!

Shelby Lou- I love than an 18 year old who has no children can see why I would be concerned about my 10 yr old going away to camp. Now why a 33 yr old "man" can't, I'm not sure???

S- I should ask Sei if he told him that. I so wish he had it on video. Not the pooping, but the tasing. It's entertaining to see how people react just because I know how manly my man is.

Yvonne- Your comment about pooping made me lol!!

Lauren- Yes, I take on anonymous commenters and tard exes. I need a superhero name!

Klin- "In case we got tazed..." Awesome!

Nancy- I ♥ the way you think.

Beckie- He actually had to ride in an ambulance with him because he was all doped up on drugs so they have to go to the hospital. I'm sure it was gross!!

Kaitlyn said...

Seriously Tori, we need to be friends. You are so funny, plus you like Twilight. I am glad you are coming to my birthday festivities (is that even spelled right?), it should be fun.

Mrs. Organic said...

Thought maybe I'd overstepped. But peeps like your ex make me a teensy crazy. (wish I could remember it).

No Cool Story said...

I don't know what Mrs Organic said but ITA.

I bet Sei has awesome stories.

I got all teary eyed when I heard what happened to Natasha. But I tried to keep my cool exterior as I was at the gym.
It's hard beign cool you know?

Physcokity said...
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Physcokity said...

I'm with Nancy Face.

Your Super Hero name, as lame spice as it is should be Super T for two reasons

1. Super Tori:)
2. Super Twin (Go Twin Power!)

You've already got the purple spandex, why not work it? especially with your new svelt little body? ;)

Nathan said...

My thoughts:

1. I laughed so hard at the first one, I almost lost digestive control (probably way more information than you want to know).

2. The whole Natasha Richardson story makes me realize how petty my own problems are. So what if I have a hang nail?

3. The ex sounds like a major tool. I wonder if he's related to my sister's ex. It must be something in the water that makes men go stupid. I'm just sorry you have to deal with him. If you ever need help taking a bat to his windshield or letting the air out of his tires, just let me know.

Gretch! said...

UH! Raegan is only one year younger than Iz and there is NO way in a year I would let her go to a camp ALONE! wth??