Friday, August 28, 2009

Cinderblock of the Week

Alec told us a totally dorky joke...
A little girl asked her parents, "Why'd you name me rose?"

"Because when you were born a rose petal fell on your head!"

The sister asked her parents, "Why'd you name me daisy?"

"Because when you were born a daisy fell on your head..."

The son said, "Eeer ahhhhhhh me ooooh durrrrrrr!!"

"Shut up Cinderblock!!"

Ok, for some reason this  joke was hilarious to me- and my whole family. When someone is acting not-so-smart we call them "Cinderblock." This week we've  had a major cinderblock amongst us. So I don't point fingers at which child it was, I will just says it was our ONLY TEENAGER. Ok yes, Cinderblock of the Week  is Tristan.

This kid drove me up the wall this week. And I can't believe I just used the phrase "Drove me up the wall." Hi Mom!! Next thing I know I'll be saying "Tough tea bags." I'm not sure what that even means and I'm totally off the subject... Back to Cinderblock...

Let's start with the fact that Tristan attends an early morning scripture study class M-F at 6am. Yes- he is awesome. But he also needs to get to football practice that starts at 7am. According to him he just "HAD" to be there by 6:45am because it takes him "FOREVER" to get all his pads on. So,  I told him to stick his cell phone in his pocket on vibrate and I'd text/call when I got to the church to pick him up. I told him that 4-5 times. So at 6:43am I pull into the church parking lot and text Tdog.  And wait. 1 minute later I text again... 2 min. later I call him. 1 more minute passes I text. At 6:50am I call and text. Nothing. At 6:54 am he comes strollin' out with the rest of his class. He comes to the car and I say, "Are you kidding?" "What?" I started mocking him, "I have to be there by 6:45. It takes FOREVER to get my pads on..." His reason for not coming out at 6:43?? "Well, I was in the middle of class." No crap? CINDERBLOCK.

The next day he didn't have early practice, but Alec did. I dropped Alec off at school at 6:45 and sped to the church. I got there at 6:52 y'all. Kids are comin' out, gettin'  in cars... I wait. And wait. 6:57am I see the teacher leave and I'm like "WTH?" I call home and Sei says, "Tristan just walked in. Your mom gave him a ride." Good to know. I asked T how he even ended up in my mom's car. He said, "She was pickin' up Ali, so I just went and got in."  Nevermind the fact his mom was coming to pick him up. CINDERBLOCK.

And last but not least. Thursday Tristan had his 1st high school football game. I asked him if they were going to feed him before the game. He said he thought they were, but I gave him $6 just in case. At 10:20 am I get a text saying they were leaving at 4:40 so I needed to bring him food before then. Alrighty then. I text back, "Dad will bring you food at 4pm. ANSWER YOUR PHONE when he calls you." At 3:50 Sei goes to the school with a footlong Subway sandwich. He calls T. No answer. He calls, and calls, and calls. He finally goes into the football field house and finds a coach. This is at 4:20. He asks the coach to find T and give him his sandwich.  The coach takes the sandwich and Sei leaves. When he gets back in the car his phone beeps like he has a voicemail. "Um, hi. This is Tristan. We left at 3:40, not 4:40. So don't bring me any food. Bye." He called and left this voicemail at 4:21 pm. Did he not realize he was getting on a bus 40 minutes before that?? Seriously? CINDERBLOCK.

So there you have it. My sweet, special CINDERBLOCK. But to balance it out- he did awesome as punter in his football game. First punt of the season: