Monday, January 18, 2010

2009... grrrrr

My outlook on life has changed dramatically in the last few months. 2009 really sucked eggs- BIG TIME.  Most of y'all know that my husband and I were served papers from both of our exes. And these were major court papers. The lame thing about this is that you can't just ignore it. You are forced to answer by hiring a lawyer. If you don't then the courts assume you agree with everything in the papers and file in the petitioner's favor. :( We, obviously, couldn't let that happen. So, 2009 was spent figuring out how to pay retainer fees and making payments with money we don't have.

During this time we seriously talked about renting our home out. We even went as far as to look for apartments for rent in our area. We were going to move our family of 7 into a 3 bedroom apartment. How is that fair? Man, it put me in a bad mood for the entire year! Moving is such a pain anyway, with finding the right place, packing, changing schools, church schedules, moving away from friends. You have to check out neighborhoods, school districts, etc... There's so much to think about. I know I always looked online to read reviews about different apartment complexes, areas of a city, etc... I hate moving with a passion. I don't like living in apartments with children. I've lived in my fair share of apartments. I had one downstairs neighbor that would ram her ceiling with a broom everytime my 3 year old ran thru the living room. Really?? You live in an apartment, there's gonna be some noise! Another time my husband and  I had just been married, so the family below us had newlyweds above them... Yeah... Sorry about that ~j.  Moving on... I don't like moving. I am thankful for sites like to help make the moving experience easier...

The thought of renting out our home to a family and moving just so we could pay for lawyers was so frustrating to me. It's still frustrating, but we decided we aren't going to lose our home and let all this affect the lives of our children. I've decided to not let the choices and actions of selfish people affect ME. The last 10 years of my life I've been doing that. I'm done. I choose to be happy. I choose to see the silver lining. I mean, honestly, all this court crap has made my kiddos cling to me more. They know that I'm fighting for what THEY want. They love me more for that. Sei and I have grown closer too. We've been in and out of court with exes for our entire marriage. It's draining emotionally and financially, but we have that awesome of a relationship where we absolutely DO NOT allow it to mess that up. Another thing that has surprisingly changed my attitude is Mary Kay. I am stoked to be a beauty consultant. Getting to go to weekly meetings with awesome women, dressing up (which I thought I'd hate!!), having parties getting to meet new people, etc... has changed me in so many ways in just a few short months. It's been rad.

You know how people will say they are "so thankful" for their trials? Well, maybe one day I'll be to that point, but right now I'm not. I'm not thankful for all this at all. It makes me mad. But these trials have made me stronger. They've helped me grab a hold of my attitude and adjust it. I still don't know why Sei and I felt so strongly to move to Texas. I really don't. But... we're here. And I'm not going thru the nonsense of moving again, so we might as well make the best of it, right?

I heart my family.

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