Monday, September 09, 2013

My Captain America

So this week my oldest son, Tristan, left for Army Basic Training. He is in Missouri at Fort Leonard Wood. Monday before he left we had a family dinner and then Seiuli gave him a special blessing with Alec and my dad. Then we went around the room saying whatever we felt needed to be said. I couldn't really talk, so I think I said something along the lines of, "I'm your biggest fan and I'll be ringing my cowbell down here in Texas..." Because he LOVED my cowbell during football season. not Then he hugged everyone. I was the last one he hugged and he bawled on my shoulder. The last year has been tough as he was learning to exert his independence, but at that moment as he cried I knew he needed me and I knew he loved me always.
Tuesday I took Tristan to eat lunch at the schools with Taj, Liv and Isabel. He was able to tell some high school friends "bye." At McDonalds when we were getting lunch for Isabel there was an Army recruiter in line. I started talking to him and he said, "How is your son?" I said that he was doing good. Then he said, "And how are YOU?!" And I squeaked out, "Fine, unless I try to talk." That was followed by an awkward silence as I tried to find my voice and suck the tears back up into my eyes.
Then I had the, uh, pleasure (?) of  dropping him off at the recruiting center. He was going to be spending the night in Dallas before swearing in on Wednesday. I dropped him off, and sat in the parking lot crying in my van for about 1/2 an hour. I only left because I had to pick up Taj and Liv. It was so hard to leave.

Wednesday we headed up to the Military Entrance Processing Station (MEPS) and watched him take his oath as a US Soldier. Then we hung out in front of the elevator for about 1/2 an hour. No one wanted to push the "down" button. But eventually HE had to leave, so we did too. Apparently Moms can't come with their sons to boot camp. ;)

Late Wed. night I got a text letting me know he was in Missouri. So I put my phone on vibrate and missed his 1am call. He left a voicemail that he was obviously reading: "I have arrived at Fort Leonard Wood. I am safe. I will call when I can." *click* I discovered the voicemail at 2:30am and against my better judgement I listened to it. I immediately thought it sounded like a terrorist hostage message and "Where the hell did I just send my son?!?!" I didn't go back to sleep.
I'm not gonna lie. The last 5 days have sucked in my opinion. I don't like not hearing from him or even having an address. And I have my bouts of crying and depression. Seiuli has been great. He brought me flowers, a sweet card, saw a chick flick movie with me (Austenland is WONDERFUL!!!) and bought me like 12 2-liters of Diet DP. I kid you not.
Basically when I feel like crying, I cry. When I think of something I would tell Tristan if he were here, I write him a letter to mail when I DO have an address. And most importantly, I remember that HIS life has changed the most on a day-to-day basis, not mine. So I suck it up for him. And I will count down to mid-November when I get to cheer him on at graduation. Then I'll support him to AIT (Advanced Individual Training) and through (gulp) airborne training.  And then I'll be excited for him when he finds out where he's stationed- even if I have to fake it.


Yvonne said...

I hope you are okay. I love you!!!!

Take care of you and nothing wrong with crying when you want to!!!

I have a graduation/good luck card for him which i have been holding on. Meant to send it when I was in Texas. I will send it to you and whenever you get an address you can send it on ; )

swampbaby said...

I have cried a few times since he left and I'm not even his mom! And now I'm crying again - thanks a lot! He will do well and it will be good for him - blah blah blah - and it sucks, and I'm sorry, and most importantly I'm SO proud to say my nephew is in the Army because he chose to unselfishly take that oath. All of you are in my prayers every day.