Friday, October 18, 2013

"What excellent boiled potatoes..."

Ahh, Mr. Collins... Gotta love him... Poor, socially awkward man...

Lately I've been slightly obsessed with "Pride & Prejudice." I prefer the 2005 movie with Matthew Macfayden as Mr. Darcy. He's so cute and ridiculously introverted, bless his heart. The thing is... I can soooo relate to his quote:
 "I do not have the talent of conversing easily with people I have never met before."

 Amen, Mr. Darcy. Amen. Some people, like my husband, can talk the paint off the wall. Not in an annoying way... He can just converse easily. I am not good with small talk with random people I don't know. I don't even do well in a group of people I DO know because I have no desire to be the center of attention. And I really enjoy listening and people watching. But for some reason, this introversion is seen as a personality flaw rather than just a personality trait. I'm often told that I need to "come out of my comfort zone" or "practice talking to people" or "socialize more." And here's my question:

I'm not socially awkward- at least I don't think I am... I'm not even really shy. I have friends. Not a ton, but I have friends who I know I can trust and I'm cool with that. I prefer small groups. I don't feel the need to have a "Girls Night Out" every week or talk on the phone constantly to my friends. I actually prefer to hang out with my kids, my husband, or alone. I'm perfectly ok with being alone. And I'm here to proudly declare:

I don't mind if no one sits by me in class at church. I don't mind if they do either. But I don't have this overwhelming NEED to be around other people. And no, it's not imperative that I make comments out loud. I don't need people telling me "It's ok to comment once in a while" like I need their permission. I don't need "assignments" that require me to talk to people like I'm some kind of experiment or something that needs to be "fixed." I'm not broken.
All the ladies LOVE Mr. Darcy. Why is that? He seemed like a prick in the beginning, right? He wouldn't talk, he said things like, "She's perfectly tolerable, I dare say. But not handsome enough to tempt me..." and he couldn't even propose right- although he makes amend for that... But we love him because we learn he is "loyal" (Col. Fitzwilliam called him that), kind, intelligent, "good-natured and generous" (as his house servant described him), and ultimately MISUNDERSTOOD. We don't try to change him. We don't tell him to come out of his comfort zone, because once he was comfortable and ready he said rad things like this:
So if you know an introvert don't treat them like something is wrong. I married an extrovert. My closest friends are extroverts. We balance each other. There is no "wrong" or "right." And anyway, how boring would it be if we were all the same? We all remember what happened to Spongebob when he became "normal" like everyone wanted him to be...

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